Don't Lose Yourself
by BlackRedandBold
Summary: Daniel has barely escaped from a gatherer when he finds a strange letter. Sliiiiiiight AU, oneshot.


**A/N: **Special thanks to madamequeendecember over on Google Docs for editing! This is my first Amnesia fic, so if Daniel's OOC... Well, understand, but tell me so I can fix it!

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It was getting closer. Daniel could hear the gatherer's heavy footsteps picking up speed, and suddenly, it was on his heels. He leant forward just as the monster slashed out with his claws, missing Daniel's head by centimeters. He covered his mouth, muffling a scream. He could not afford to lose his composure now; the folly would become the cause of a violent, untimely demise.

Thinking fast, Daniel quickly turned into a room on his right. He slammed the metal door as the creature blew straight past. He thought he heard its grunts and moans fade into the distance, but he could not allow himself to relax. Not yet. He cautiously reached for the door handle. He just had to make sure everything was safe, that the coast was clear...

Opening the door only led to a flash of metal claws, hitting his side. The wretched creature had been waiting just beyond the threshold! Daniel yelped in pain and closed the door again, taking off towards an adjoined office in the back. He thanked his lucky stars that the metal doors were unbreakable. Once he was safe in the office, he examined his injuries. The three, deep scratches were bleeding quite heavily, and Daniel suddenly found himself unable to stand. The world was spinning and his ears were ringing. _Not here, _he thought, _not here! Anywhere but here!_ He closed his eyes, a pained whimper escaping his lips. Laudanum. He needed to find laudanum.

Forcing himself to his feet, he unsteadily walked towards the bookshelves near the back window. In past experiences, Daniel could usually find a bottle or two on one of them. Yet, the shelves were bare. _There's got to be some in the desk, _he thought. His efforts proved fruitful, as he found two bottles of the anesthetic in the top drawer, along with an old shirt in a closet to his left that was repurposed into a wrapping for the scratches.

He was just turning to venture back out when a rustle of old paper caught his attention. On the desk lay a previously unnoticed letter. Letters and journal entries were strewn about the castle, and any other time, Daniel would have ignored it. What caught his attention was that the letter was addressed to him. Unable to curb his curiosity, he sat down and began to read.

_ Daniel,_

_ If you are reading this, it means you have made it thus far. I commend your efforts. It is a very noble thing to do indeed; exploring a perilous castle with no memory to speak of. I assure you, my decision was for the best. You probably have some idea of what has happened from the journal that should have been in my - our - bedroom. It is not the entire story. Alas, I must be the bearer of bad news. This will be very difficult for you to accept, and I doubt you will fully believe what I have written here until you find yourself in the cellars. _

_ Alexander has forced you to kill innocents. He insists that they are prisoners, that they deserve to die, that it is the only way I can rid myself of the Shadow. I have immense doubts, yet I cannot stop myself once I pick up the knife. He is taking control of me. I can feel myself slipping more and more with every passing day. It will not be long before I do not know who I am anymore. _

_ This is why I am going to take the amnesia potion. I need to regain my own mind again, no matter what it takes. Please forgive me. I also request of you two simple tasks, along with killing Alexander. One, avenge those who were unjustly killed. Two, and most importantly, don't lose yourself again. Otherwise, Alexander will win and so many more will die._

_ Do not let this happen._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Your past self, Daniel_

Daniel put down the letter, trembling uncontrollably. This couldn't be happening. He would never kill innocents. Why, then, had he begun to hear the dreadful, anguished screams coming from the lower floors? They weren't hallucinations, but remnants of an obliterated memory. He choked back a sob. How could he have gone along with it? Why didn't he do anything to stop himself? He wished he had been stronger. _It's no use dwelling on the past and how it could be changed,_ he mentally scolded himself. _If anything,I have an even better reason to act my revenge upon Alexander now. _Daniel took a deep breath. He had to explore the cellars next. Now, he had to face them with an overwhelming sense of regret and foreboding.

_ If not for yourself, do it for them, _he thought_. _Daniel took a deep breath to steady himself and strode to the stairwell leading to the cellar. _There's no turning back now._


End file.
